A Quiet Night In Front Of The Telly
by Lurkoholic
Summary: Sometimes Skywarp likes to watch TV on the biggest monitor on the Nemesis, in the Rec Room. Easier said than done, as Thundercracker will soon discover. Will they ever get a quiet night in front of the telly?


One of the plot bunnies that's been trapped in its hutch for too long.

Written in POV of Thundercracker. Why Thundercracker? Because he's awesome and easier for me to tap into, though depending on your characterization of him he may come off as slightly OOC. This is fluff- he can't be morose the whole time! :) I hope I've done him some justice.

Usual disclaimers pertaining to no ownership of the borrowed characters and property.

 _Italics indicate communication over com channels._

* * *

 **POV: Thundercracker**

Sometimes Skywarp likes to watch human television. When he does he often likes to do so with the biggest monitor in the ship, in the Rec Room.

Occasionally I'll go with him. Not necessarily because I'm there to enjoy the often asinine shows that 'Warp so enjoys, but more often to keep him out of trouble when he's in a particularly infantile mood. Like tonight…

"Oh look, it's the Giant Turkey, and his Babysitter."

Seems like this room's already taken.

"Oh look, it's Tweedle-dumb and Tweedle-dork!" Skywarp retorts, sneering at both Rumble and Frenzy imperiously as he walks past the monitor and casually changes the channel.

"Hey we were watching that!" Frenzy cries out.

"And now you're not," Skywarp replies sitting down on the couch opposite.

"Well, we've got the remote Bird Brain," Rumble says brandishing it and changing channels again.

"Yeah, thanks for that," Skywarp reaches over from his seat on the couch opposite and easily tugs it out of the purple Casseticon's grip.

I sit down next to Skywarp and studiously ignore what's going on. Long experience has taught me, as much as Skywarp is being an aft: never get involved.

"You under-clocked plane! I ought'a…"

"You ought'a shush, some of us are trying to watch this show," Skywarp says, and just because he's in the mood to be a complete and utter fraghead, he slouches down and stretches out both legs to rest on the couch opposite; directly into the faces of Rumble and Frenzy, who struggle and push against the much larger and powerful peds.

I frown slightly; as much as Skywarp complains about the Casseticon twins and what little pests they are, he was never going to attempt to improve relations with him, that much was clear.

"That ought'a shut you up," he says, grinning and grinding his peds into both of the smaller bots.

Skywarp. My wingmate. My closest friend. A big bully.

Watching the little bots struggle, as they are casually squished further into the couch bothers me. Maybe I won't get involved, but I'll try to intervene.

I ping Skywarp over our com channel, trying to engage in a private conversation.

He frowns slightly but otherwise doesn't respond.

I ping him again.

 _"Arrgghh, what TC?!"_

He cuts open the com channel, not moving his optics from the mindless drivel he's trying to escape into.

 _"Skywarp, you've had your fun, stop stepping on Rumble and Frenzy."_

He audibly snorts. _"Heh, funny TC…"_

 _"I'm not joking."_

 _"Really? Cos that was hilarious."_

The line cuts out. Well, I suppose I should have seen that coming. I briefly consider giving up, but it just doesn't sit well with me. I ping him again.

 _"I suppose there's more you'd like to lecture me on?"_ he grumbles.

 _"How long do you plan on smothering them into the couch?"_

 _"As long as I damn well please. Why does it bother you so much? They're little slaggers… you shouldn't give two frags about 'em."_

Skywarp tenses; from underneath his right ped, a muffled shout of protest and two small hands reach out to beat frantically on his ped. Skywarp replies by nonchalantly grinding his ped and the struggling mini 'Con deeper into the couch.

I smirk, my thoughts suddenly alighting on another argument to convince him.

 _"And how long do you think it'll take for Frenzy and Rumble to discover your thrusters are ticklish?"_

There's silence on the com line for a moment.

 _"Skywarp?"_

Skywarp shoots me a glance.

 _"TC, you wouldn't tell them."_

Skywarp's right to be concerned. Whatever problems he has with those two now will be made so much worse if they ever discover that particular piece of information. Not to mention what it would do to his already dubious reputation. In my mind I follow such a scenario through to its logical conclusion, with 'Warp eventually murdering the two Casseticons, and being dragged in front of Megatron courtesy of Soundwave. Skywarp's defence as a fusion cannon is directed at his head: "But Lord Megatron, they wouldn't stop ticklin' my thrusters!"

I wrestle the amused look of my face and give him my reply. _"No, you're right, I wouldn't. But I don't think I'll need to. Eventually one of them is going to hit a sensitive spot; you'll flinch at the very least, if you don't squeal-"_

 _"I don't squeal!"_

 _"...and they'll work it out."_

I level my silence at him and watch him, he's still "watching" the television programme, but his vents have started to cycle and I can feel an embarrassed heat rise off him. I leave him to his thoughts.

 _"Fine. Have it your way."_

He smoothly pulls back his heels from the couch opposite and tucks his legs up alongside himself.

" _Thank you 'Warp."_

 _"I didn't do it for you."_

Rumble shakily emerges from ped shaped dent in the couch and then comes flying towards us spitting tacks.

"I'll get you, you dirty stinkin' exhaust pipe!" he shrieks, his fists flying, Frenzy not far behind. Skywarp backhands Rumble across the room, then yells in pain as Frenzy sinks his teeth into his leg.

"Ow! You slaggin' bit me you fragmented Cyber Rat!" he stands up shaking his leg. When that fails, he wrenches Frenzy from his thigh and throws him into the hallway.

"Damn! I just know I'll get a virus from that diseased little-Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!"

Rumble had unleashed his pile drivers on to one big Seeker ped. Skywarp now hopping around, quickly lost his balance and started falling backwards over the couch causing it to tip.

"Need help 'Warp?" I call.

"Help?! Against these two?" his voice emerges from under the couch, "I'd rather- ah! Got ya you little piece of scrap!"

His moment of victory was quickly interrupted as he yelped "Nghhh! Arrggh! Get off my wing!"

"Let go of my brother!" Frenzy's shrill cries could be heard.

Skywarp stood up, holding Rumble tightly by the head, his optics flickering and gasping in pain as Frenzy, peds braced against the back of Skywarp's wing, bent his ailerons back further than ailerons should be bent, wires being pulled out into the open.

I wince and quickly get up to pry Frenzy from 'Warps abused wing; the red Cassette protesting and swinging towards me and Skywarp.

"Okay, that's enough," I say.

Skywarp draws a huge cycle of air, and immediately turns his now steady optics towards inspecting the damage on the lower margin of his wing.

"Mfppppfhhhhrgmm!" Rumble's muffled protests leak through Skywarp's fist, as he swings his legs and claws at the much larger hand engulfing his face.

"You too, Skywarp," I say, taking his wrist and drawing his attention back to the captured mech he still has.

Skywarp sneers and allows me to take hold of Rumble. Both mini 'Cons struggle in my grasp.

"Thundercracker, stay outta this!" Frenzy growls.

"We've got nothing against you pal, just your idiot wing mate!" Rumble adds.

"Are you hearing this TC?!" Skywarp cries shrilly.

"Sparklings, sparklings, settle down..." I say in my most measured tones.

"Hey, you don't get to talk down to us! You're not our Dad!"

"I'm not a sparkling, TC!"

"Yeah you are, and Thundercracker's your babysitter! Ha ha ha!"

I grind my denta together from the growing processor ache.

"Yeah? Well you're a-"

"I SAID SETTLE DOWN!"

Skywarp's optics get comically wide and his jaw drops; both Frenzy and Rumble tentatively crane their head up to look at me. Each cycle of air I expel comes growling out through the sudden roar of my engines.

There is an eery silence but for the rumbling of my engines.

"Now then, we are all going to leave this room. If you want to continue to watch whatever putrid human entertainment that's on, you can do that in your own quarters."

"But-"

I fix Rumble with what I can feel is my patented Death Glare.

"Nothin'," he quavers.

"Good."

I lower them to the ground, "Go on, get! You leave us be, and we'll leave you alone."

They back off and wisely avoid Skywarp, leaving by another doorway.

I look up at my wingmate, his jaw still open, optics still wide.

I reach a black finger under his chin and flick his jaw shut, knocking him out of his fud.

"Shall we, Skywarp?" I ask, passing him and leaving the Rec Room, hearing him turn and follow closely behind.

"Woah TC, you were really torqued off back there, huh?"

"Mm? No, not really," I say, waving a hand dismissively. I glance back over at him with a small smile, "I'm saving that for a really special occasion."

Skywarp shivers, "Remind me to schedule some time off-world when that happens."

"Oh I'm sure you'll be there, front and centre, to witness it when it does happen…" I chuckle darkly.

"Is that a warning?"

"No, just a feeling."

Skywarp cuffs me playfully on the back of the helm, and skips ahead of me in the corridor, "You're assuming I'll stick around for the show! Teleport remember?" he thumbs his nose at me, grins, and is gone in a flash of purple light.

I chuckle as I take long way back through the halls of the ship to our quarters. At least there we might get a shot at a quiet night in front of the TV.

* * *

Fin.


End file.
